February 2012
10 posts
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“Come bear witness as [S.P] greets his late twenties with a mere shrug and frat...”
– J.G., inviting me to a friend’s birthday.
I seriously get the best emails.
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“[If you don’t] that’s like getting your car fixed and the mechanic...”
– R.W., when I asked him if I should email our client THE FONT THEY PAID FOR. #workn00b
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“If you’re happily employed but somehow emotionally distant from the people...”
– Happy hour email I received today from co-workers
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January 2012
27 posts
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gingerhaze:
20 Years - The Civil Wars
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“The VA is such a confidence booster- was serenaded to before my morning coffee....”
– J.G., outlining the way to most women’s hearts
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“Get Mortified IS having a doomed Valentine’s themed show! This is your 1...”
– J.G., kicking things up a notch
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“So if you, too, have Radiohead on your live music bucket list, have yet to...”
– J.G., in an email titled, “The British are coming.”
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“Previous efforts at lunchbunching came up short, but it’s a new year and a...”
– S.J., via email with the subject line, “Lunch bunch redux: The Luncheoning”.
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QUIT SOLVING ALL MY PROBLEMS OKAY
Me: I HAVE THIS PHOTO OF YOU FROM HALLOWEEN AND IT'S INCREDIBLE! I've got my camera so I'm going to come show you in a few minutes
J.E.: Why don't you just upload it to Facebook?
Me (whining): Because that involves, like WIRES and stuff.
Me: I wish there was wifi in my camera so I didn't have to do all this!
J.E.: OH, there is. (points me to: http://www.eye.fi/)
Me: WHAT? We are living in the future! The future, I tell you.
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December 2011
9 posts
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“haikus are awesome
the worst problem is when i
run out of sylla”
– J.E.
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Change we can believe in
Courtesy of K.K., my 2012 New Years Resolutions:
IN THE STYLE OF FUCKING DEVELOPER ADVICE AND WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I MAKE FOR DINNER:
DURETTI’S FUCKING GOALS
1. GO ON SOME FUCKING DATES.
2. WRITE THAT FUCKING BOOK YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO. DO IT THIS YEAR.
3. BE AWESOME AT YOUR JOB, BOTH INSIDE THE COMPANY AND IN YOUR ONLINE FUCKING PERSONA. SHOW THE WORLD HOW FUCKING AWESOME YOU...
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It always comes back to MJ
Me: also i still have a glove of yours
J.G.: it's alright. i was going for an MJ look anywayz
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I don't even
K.K.: IMOGEN BEEP
Me: ?
K.K.: BEEP BEEP
K.K.: Roadrunner...
K.K.: I dunno where I was going with that.
K.K.: BACK TO WORK
K.K.: *vogues, sachets, and exits stage left*
Me: hahahahahahahahaha
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Winter is coming
AL: "like, you can't build the same house in california as you can in Omaha. It's illegal! because cali has earthquakes and is going to drop off into the ocean one day and become its own country run by fabulous gays and washed up movie stars and its going to be awesome, but we all know we have to build our houses so that they don't fall down when that happens"
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Away messages are not utilized nearly enough
Me (away msg): [JM]: World's most interesting man?
JM (via away msg): Duretti Hirpa: World's most crazy awesome woman? Early returns say yes.
November 2011
20 posts
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“Anyway, “I Bought A Zoo” is apparently not just the title of a Matt...”
– WS
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Cheer up, panda bear
K.K.: Girrll
K.K.: OPHELIA SO BAD FOR YOURSELF
Me: I'M ALLOWED TO BE ANGSTY SASSY GAY FRIEND
K.K.: There IS A BLACK STRAIGHT ME OUT THERE AND ONE DAY WE WELL YOU AND HIM WILL GET MARRIED
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
K.K.: If you were a guy I'd suggest we get some whiskey and a pickup truck and go out on a hill and grouse about women
K.K.: But I don't think that's really applicable here
Me: hahaha "grouse"
K.K.: I don't know WHY that's a verb
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