hot child in the city

The things you learn in a group chat

• Co-worker 1: don't have kids
• Co-worker 1: if you do ... then ship them out between 2 and 4
• Co-worker 2: understood
• Co-worker 2: though, that info would've been helpful around 9 years ago
• Co-worker 1: LOL

In response to the first post

• S.P.: dude, it's one thing stealing coffee
• S.P.: its another stealing the milk you use to make it...
• S.P.: that's what happened to me.
• S.P.: some BATCH drank my 2 percent
• Me: waaaaat
• S.P.: i'm like HELLLLLLLLLLL na
• Me: did you ever crack the case? find out who stole from you?
• S.P.: i mean i had some leads... it was a bad day.
• S.P.: it was a [co-worker]
• Me: you ask about it? or you let it slide?
• S.P.: no, i put a note next time saying "spoiled"
• S.P.: it worked.

In response to the last post, part 2

• J.G.: LULZ to KK
• J.G.: always manages to upstage me in hilarity
• J.G.: bless his gay soul. keep it coming.

In response to the last post

• K.K.: SCORCHED EARTH
• K.K.: I can just picture her going into a rage, shoveling everything off the table
• K.K.: sweep ALL THE COFFEE SUPPLIES ASIDE
• K.K.: TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY PLATTER OF REVENGE
• Me: hahaha precisely

30 rock is always applicable

• J.G.: (away message) Someone drank my coffee. This is war.
• Me: someone's going to be maimed
• J.G.: i'm thinking of stealing all the sugar
• J.G.: dumping out the cream
• J.G.: if i cannot enjoy, NO ONE SHALL
• Me: like when liz lemon's sandwich on sandwich day got eaten
• Me: I'LL CUT YOU UP SO PRETTY YOU'LL HAVE A CHIN
• Me: YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS
• J.G.: that's exactly the scene i was picturing just now
• Me: hahaha excellent

Yes…yes…come to me you beautiful budding trivia nerds…

In, as always.